Ponderings and Plights
It’s getting exhausting having to keep writing about how I have been targeted for the last five years by complete strangers who dislike me because of my disability, because of my quirks and because of my beliefs.
But in recent months, I have been the subject of chain emails. I have had demented people message people close to me and “warn” them about me. I’ve had them straight up lie about me and some of their lies are now forcing me to sue a few of these people for defamation. I’ve been subjected to a five year nightmare of being treated less than human.
Ive struggled with how to approach this or how to talk about it because whenever I talk about this nightmare that I’ve been living, it always seems to create more problems. But whenever I DON’T talk about it, people stumble upon misinformation and they assume things about me that aren’t true.
People gave me advice for 5 years that if I ignore these trolls, the trolls would go away. Unfortunately, that hasn’t been the case. I have lawyers representing me in a lawsuit appeal against said site. The lawyers representing me have been gracious enough to represent me at below market rate because they agree that the site harassing me is bad and needs to cease its activities of tormenting people.
I’m not these trolls only target. These trolls have ruined the lives of countless people. And sure, I did things that attracted these people, and it made it worse that I’m a disabled guy and so they perceive me to be an easy target like the vultures that they are. In all honesty, I think I owe 30 percent liability for attracting these people. They retain the rest of the 70 percent.
However, this post isn’t to talk about what I’ve done or what I should have done or what I didn’t do — because none of that matters.
This post is for friends, acquaintances, people who want to work with me, but who may have questions or concerns. This post is a simple “look: I’m a flawed, but good person” post.
I will straight up admit: I’m not a perfect person. I’ve done things that weren’t calculated fully. I’ve done things that I regret and could have gone about differently. But the past is exactly that: it’s the past. I have the right to not be a prisoner to it. And I refuse to be a prisoner to it.
I absolutely reject cancel culture. I hate this notion where any misunderstood thing a person does must be a death sentence.
In general, I’m a happy person and I love life. I have dreams and ambitions, but have a group of people determined who make it a sport to hunt down and harass others. Their site has been linked to 4 suicides. Their actions have made me question recently if my life matters. If my existence as a person matters.
I won’t divulge who they are, because they are from a site that is sometimes considered worse than 4Chan and the underbellies of Reddit, and they thrive on attention. To best describe the site that is targeting me, they’re the National Enquire on meth.
You may think: “So? It’s just words. Toughen up.”
But when those words are weaponized against you and your mistakes are used to target your friendships, connections, relationships, jobs, etc, it matters. When those words are used to doxx your family and your adolescent nephews and nieces, it matters. It becomes a topic that needs to be addressed.
So what do I have to say?
I simply just want to caution others to be careful of the sources you read about somebody else. I would implore people to ask questions and not accept something written as the truth.
And honestly: if a person has time to sit and gossip about somebody else, do you really want to hear what they have to say?
I’ve made mistakes, but nothing terribly wrong or bad. To anyone affected by my mistakes, I do apologize.
I have anxiety and depression and can impulsively say things. It’s a flaw I’m working on. I cringe at some past social media postings of mine. I also made a failed bid at being a shock jock a few years ago.
I have evolved over time from a conservative to a progressive person. I believe victimless activities like sex work should be legal and regulated because it benefits not only the sex worker, but it gives people with disabilities a chance at intimacy. Look to Nevada and Australia at how sex work legalization has its benefits. Bodily automation is so important.
I’ve learned over time to pick my battles. Every time a person wrongs you, it doesn’t give ground to an automatic lawsuit. I’ve learned to forget and forgive.
And most importantly: love yourself. When others hate on you, self-love will get you through.
I hope this posting can help repel the attacks I’ve been facing and can settle things to make it clear that I’ve moved on from things. That im different. I’ve changed.
We all deserve a chance to change.